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9th of April, 2007 | 5:45 p.m.

Once upon a time, Steve and I spent far too much time in the sixth form library writing songs which made no sense, using Steve's "magic pen".

Today, I found some of them:

Speaking of Steve, she emailed me to inform me she is now living in Ireland, doing the archaeologist thing. She's not sure why exactly, such is the life of Steve.

My dog wears a poncho. I did not buy it for her. I hate that stuff, and the people who put that stuff on their pets. The thing is, I think she actually likes wearing it.

I don't wear a poncho. I disapprove. Not of the not wearing, but of the wearing. AMBIGUOUS. Phoo.

I have a concept, characters and sets in mind for an animation. I just need a story with some real MEATS on its bones. Sadly, I haven't done that kind of thing for years, and I'm not sure where to even start. Also, I need a piano. Neil of Art Attack fame needs to show us how to make one using PVA glue, sand, foil and poster paints. Us? Me. Shut up. Okay.