Recently my sleeping schedule has been suddenly pushed back by several hours. I don't know why, but I suspect it has something to do with the way my sister keeps telling me "up your viva". What are these words? I don't know those words.

I know these words: Oof, pssha, fnurgle, boo, deoxyribonucleic acid.

It reminds me of when I took A-level biology for unknown reasons and didn't talk to anyone. I never talked to anyone, except the people I did talk to. Namely, Victog, Steve, Charlotte and some other people whose faces are one huge blob to me now.

NOT REALLY. Why? Because my memory hates me and holds relentlessly onto the sort of details about people which make me look like a demented stalker if I let them be known.

I used to pretend my memory was worse than it actually was, because it used to freak people out, and they considered me obsessed with their delicious selves, when really I am about as interested in how you parted your hair on September 22nd 1994 (and all subsequent and previous ways of parting it come to mention it) as I am in something I am so uninterested by I can't even bring it to mind to mention it here to make my point.

I know I contradict myself there but shh.