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16th of April, 2007 | 12:50 a.m.

I danced a lot last night. I don't like the people I danced with. I won't be doing that again, and I never made any promises that I would. I hate that. I hate people who say things like that knowing full well they have no intention of doing it. Sometimes people stare at me like they expect me to make plans, but I don't have any intention of doing so, so I say nothing. It happens a lot now we're getting close to leaving college. Everyone talks about how much they'll miss you and we should stay in touch no really we should yeah let's go somewhere together no really.

I'm okay with the silence, so I don't say anything, or sometimes I say that I doubt it will happen. I will miss these people, but only as a collective, not as individuals. I will miss this time of my life, and the people are a part of that, even the ones I can't stand to be around. In that sense I will miss them.

He's different, of course. Just how different became very clear to me last night, as I was lying next to James, trying to sleep.