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29th of september, 2005 | 4:55 a.m.

Our living room has that new carpet smell, probably because mum put down a new carpet a few days ago.

That smell says to me new house, but no. It is unusual for me to have a new carpet smell in a house which is not new. This kind of stuff just messes with my mind which has already been messed up by trying to get around the stupid rules of this place I applying to. They have apparently just been re-written to make some things clear, uet still it seems few people actually understand them. I don't think the guy who made them understands them, which might explain why all he ever does is walk around mentioning not so subtly how he is so great and that the whole thing was his idea. His. Belongs to him. He is the creator. Isn't it marvellous? Kiss his FEETS.

I love you really, but not as much as I love Andrew. I think it's because he's Canadian. I have a thing for Canada.

I might not make much sense either, but there aren't any tests on me to be taken, so yes. Woo.