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12th of February, 2023 | 8:20 p.m.

When Rachael died I began listening to Bright Eyes songs again, for the first time in years. I hadn't felt connected to them anymore, they were my college songs and the thread wasn't there in my non-college life, but suddenly that's where my mind went and it was what I needed. I would be in the kitchen, making dinner, listening to one song in particular, and I would cry. Every evening for a while, that was my routine. I don't know why that song, and I don't know why that's what I needed, but it was.